Stress & Coping

    Before the Spring semester of 2019 even started, I was stressed. So stressed that I would have breakdowns because I had no idea how I was going to manage everything that I had planned. In January I launched my photography business that was growing rapidly and took up most of my time. I knew it would only take up more time during the busy season of April through August. I needed to get a part-time job to survive financially during the spring semester. So I quickly found a job teaching English online from 3 am to 7 which made it difficult to plan out my time, but it was possible. I would be going to school full time during the spring semester and I had the goal to succeed in all my classes. Lastly, I knew I wanted to focus on starting my family. The combination of all of these things (Running a business, having an early part-time job, going to school full time, and trying to get pregnant) made me go crazy! My biggest fear is that I would get pregnant and (due to early pregnancy symptoms) would be to sick to do anything on my list. Little did I know how time-consuming and stressful it would be to struggle with not being able to get pregnant in the first place. Now, why am I telling you any of this? Because this is all we see when we talk about stress. The bad.
Stress sucks. However, we need stress. Isn’t that crazy? How could something so negative be positive? I’m not suggesting that stress like the kind I was and am going through is healthy, but a certain amount of stress is needed. To give you a better visual let me tell you about astronauts. When astronauts go up to space there is low gravity, making it so there is less stress on their bones. When they return from their trip, they are wheelchaired out of their spacecraft because they have no strength. The gravity on earth provides the perfect amount of stress on our bones that we need to be strong. Stress = Strength. Maybe that’s why everyone in the movie Wallie was fat and couldn’t walk. THEY DIDN’T HAVE STRESS! Most people cope with stress very poorly.
A huge way people cope with stress or anxiety is by diluting it through drugs and alcohol. As weed is getting legalized more places, it’s becoming more of common use to use as a way to cope with symptoms. Because it’s becoming legalized there are more studies on the drug and how it affects us today. Today Weed is 9 times more potent then it was 30 years ago! This makes it so the impairment lasts longer after the high. The high might last for 2 – 6 hours, but the person is impaired for 24 hours. The worst thing weed (or any other addictive substance) does is it turns the individual away from their family. Instead of people turning towards their family for help they are relying on something else to get them through the pain. Wouldn’t it be amazing if families could learn to turn towards each other for help? Wouldn’t it be awesome if people could learn how to handle their anxiety and stress without the constant need of a hit from a drug?
So how do we do that? Well, I’ll tell you. A great resource is to look at other cultures that don’t experience stress as Americans do. They may have just as many “stressful” things happen in their lives, but because they don’t look at it or see it as stressful, they don’t feel stressed or anxious. What!? How is this possible? Perception is everything! If you live in a culture where you don’t perceive most situations as stressful, then you’re not going to feel stress. So how do we do that in American society where stress is everyday life? It starts by making small adjustments to distorted thoughts. So let's look at the distorted thoughts I had at the beginning of this blog and see what I can do to change.
One of the biggest steps I recently took to help bring my stress back down to a normal healthy level is by becoming a temple worker. Initially, adding another thing to my plate seems crazy, however, at the temple, I feel the most peace I have ever felt. I always come back being able to replace distorted thoughts about myself and my life with truth. One that I recently have been able to replace is with pregnancy. It’s been very difficult trying to understand all the “whys” but while at the temple I was able to understand more about God’s timing. Me not getting pregnant isn’t my fault, but rather something that is out of my control. This small perception change of truth has relieved me of so much stress and has brought me to a healthy stress level! Who knew that understanding something a little better could make me so happy? Now my normal stress - over trying to get pregnant - helps me to be healthy and exercise so that my body can be as healthy as It can to welcome a future baby to my family. If you have a more severe mental health issue that does require more help I highly suggest reading the book “When Panic Attacks” by David Burns as well as get in contact with a family counselor. I suggest a family counselor because health issues do affect individuals, but individuals are a part of families and all are affected by health issues especially if it’s a parent or spouse.